I am back with an exciting guest post written by @nena khan, she is not only my bestie but also a wife and a mother of three beautiful kids. I always wanted to travel Northern Areas in Pakistan and loved hearing stories about their simple and hard-working lifestyle.she recently visited Kailash Chitral, and I asked her to write a blog post to summarize her trip. Hope you will enjoy her trip as much I do.

I am from Pakistan and have got many opportunities in my life to travel through many areas of Pakistan and meet different people from all strata of society. I have seen almost all places of my country and lastly, I visited Bumburet Valley of Chitral.

It was a quite different and beautiful experience of life. There, I came across very amazing facts and history of Kailash Valley which is very rich in culture and traditions. The culture is very different from other parts of Pakistan. Their religion name is Kailash and the place is also named on religion. The three tribes and valleys of Kailash people i.e. valleys of “Rumbur and Bumburet” forming one, and Birir valley the other is known as “Kafiristan”. Kailash people are very simple, honest and peace-loving by nature.

They have a very simple lifestyle and don’t have vast ambitions in life as we do. They don’t spend much money on clothes, food and houses. Most of the people are very poor as they have to spend a lot on festivals and local traditions. They are supposed to celebrate the funeral and slaughter fifty goats to feed the entire community and serve them wine after as well. They sing traditional songs of mourning and ladies wear their traditional dress for the funeral ceremony.  In ancient times, people used to place their dead bodies open in a traditionally prepared Coffin at graveyard but since 200 yrs, they started burying dead bodies with coffins and place dead person Charpai (Jute-bed) ups and down over his grave.

As per local customs, the rich person makes the statue of his dead father or relative and in this way, a family expend five to thirty-five lac on after death events and customs. But now the new generation has gone against this tradition and desire to discontinue such traditions as these make them poorer but elders still insist to follow these centuries’ old customs and traditions which differentiate them from other tribes and people.

 Kalish marriages are also very different, the groom chooses his bride during a traditional dance party. The lady’s father or brother come to the male house and demands money which the boy provides them and marriage is done. Moreover, any male can even take along any already married woman to his house but has to provide a double amount of expenditure done on previous marriage to her first husband.

The people of Kailash live longer than average and their life expectancy is 80 to 90 years. Recently, a man died at the age of 125 years. The reason for long life is their pure and simple food, which also include local dry fruits and goat meat. The people of Kailash think that women are impure and due to same reason women are not allowed to drink water with the same glass of water or even touch. Similarly, during their monthly menstrual days and delivery of a child, they spend these days in a separate isolated house where their family members provide them with food and other daily use things.

 I would like to say thanks to my blessed nest who encouraged and supported me to write a blog as a guest post.

Disclaimer: I am not an expert,  just sharing some tips to help you to get your stress out. Please get professional help as soon as possible if things are getting worst.

Its hard for me to get the courage to talk about social issues that we all are facing or at least somehow to become part of this negativity and my BFF suggested me to start writing about some issues ( that are not only affecting us but created by us too) who knows somebody somewhere needs it and hopefully gets benefited.

I am completely heartbroken, a couple of young ladies recently got affected by such negativity and commit suicide. Life is a beautiful journey but it has some ugly chapters and one has to read the whole book but without reading it to “The End” how come you can give up in the middle?.

I have been gone through some tough phase of life, like you, like EVERYBODY.. but I always try to look forward and count my blessing every single day, my positive attitude always motivates me to get rid of any negative thoughts and helps me to move on.

Here are some of my personal notes that I always love to follow and try to get rid of negative thoughts, anxiety and stress to feel better.

• Think positive and count your blessing, to get rid of the negative thoughts that affecting somehow.
• Try to stay away from all sort of negativity, drama or anything that is affecting you, distance is always better.
• It’s OK to be NOT ok...one can’t smile or happy all the time. Cry if you want to.
• Do not compare your life with anyone, NEVER…the best thing You can do for you live the life you love.
• Saying NO doesn’t make you a bad person.if you can’t do it, say NO ( it was one of the toughest things for me to do and I’m still working on it).
• Sometimes it’s your illusions that are so negative that make the situation negative. There are always some better options, try to find one.
• Don’t do any race with anyone, it could be status race, brand race or could be any, keep yourself away from such people and don’t be one of them.
• Expect less from other people as much as you can, you will hurt less.
• It’s not necessary to give an explanation or ask for an explanation if something happened unexpectedly. Just let it go!!
  
• Find a hobby or an activity (activities) that you love to do, it could be anything that you enjoy other than your routine house chores.
• Talk to your mom, friend or sister/spouse, the one who can listen to you or at least cheer you up.
• Go for a walk, window shopping or listen/watch you like. Take a time out just for yourself or the person you like.
• Love whatever you have, your skin colour, your body shape also countless other blessings that we used to take for granted.
• Talk to nature, do gardening or even try to catch a butterfly like me.
• Don’t judge the book by the cover, everyone is unique. It’s your vision how you look at.
• Go with the flow, it always surprises the way you never expect.

Life is beautiful, don’t give up just because you treated yourself like that. You are the most important person you know for yourself first, and for your kids, for your parents, spouse or your friends.

Try to get out of it by yourself, if not, ask for help.

Mental Health Line Canada:1866-531-2600

When I say I miss Pakistan so much, I really mean it. It’s not easy to live far away from your country and family when you are missing everything badly almost every other day. Ramadan and Eid are the days when we missed the most. My husband and I always talk about our childhood days and share our Ramadan and Eid stories with kids.

Let’s share with you guys too…here are some most missed things!!

Azaan and Siren:

Yes, I can install all the apps and reminders on my phone but hearing an actual Azan on a loudspeaker five times is such a blessing. I used to live in a neighbourhood where the mosque was just a minute away, That Azaan sound still echoing me since then, it was the most beautiful voice I had ever heard.

Do you remember, the warnings that issued right before the sehri end was something I simply missed. I remember they used to say”Hazrat sehri ka time khtam honye wala hay,khana peena FORAN bandh krdein warna apka roza nahi hoga”.

That Dhool Walas:

If you are a girl who really annoyed with that drum sound that used to wake up 1 hour before sehri and you really don’t have to make as such anything just because you’re the youngest and you have a super sweet mom than high-five(I used to help in Iftar).I am sure they probably un-aware our love-hate relationship and we only see them in person when they come to get their Eidi(money) again with drumming at the door. I didn’t know one day I would be missing that thing too, but I literally do.

That AfterNoon Nap:

Living in a non-muslim country is not easy, you don’t get half days off during Ramadan. My kids have same school timings so that my husband work hours too but in Pakistan, I remember we get half days and that nap I simply missed that was taken right after zuhar prayers for a couple of hours.

Exchange of Iftar on daily basis:

I used to live in a lovely neighbourhood and we often exchange dishes but during Ramadan, it was done on daily basis. My mom used to make extra Iftar and share with our neighbours and I just love to go and hand out those iftar trays full of yummy iftar to my friend’s house and getting back from them was even more fun.

Rush In markets and food street:

Oh God….this is the most missed memory I always have…the lineups to get samosa and other fried item and after iftar the rush in shopping malls and markets to get eid stuff is I missed the most.

Traffic Jam:

Yes!! its funny but I do miss that traffic Jam when everyone was in rush to get home before iftar. I myself had broken my fast on the road a couple of time and I remember we used to keep ” dates ” with us to break the fast just in case.

I know it’s a long list that goes on…I can write a lot on this but… Hey..why don’t you guys add some if you are living in Pakistan or abroad like me which is the most favourite or missed thing of the blessed month of Ramadan?.